October 5, 2012

• Dream/Journal Entry

  She's back!

  Katrina has re-entered my dreams.  

  Last night my brain went off the deep end.  I can't even tell you what kind of world I was in. It was reminiscent of an apartment building, but more elegant like a nice hotel, and massive more like a hospital.  My living quarters were on a top floor near the grande staircase.  I remember I had an awesome studio.  It was either short on walls or the walls looked like the horizon. It was upstairs as well.   The ceiling was higher!  The floor was that grey dance floor.  The good rubbery no slip stuff.   Metal barres.   Wall of mirrors.  Heaven.  On my way home from class one night I literally ran into Katrina and Lance on the back staircase of the apartments.  They lived there, but we usually didn't see each other.  A while later, I hear a knock on my door.  Katrina is out in the hall.  It was perpetually dark in the hall.  The carpet and walls were both a patterned deep maroon.  There she was, getting mad at me for talking to Lance.  I was so confused.  I thought she had gotten over all of that mess.  Surely she couldn't be this upset over the tiny amount of contact we've had.  Then things got weird.   The stairs next to my door were being repaired and so I couldn't cross the landing.  It was blocked off with a giant blow up hot tub?  Which had people in it that couldn't get down the stairs to their places.  Then there was no floor, and I had to fly to get in the hot tub. With the people.  For days. Until they fixed the stairs.  Katrina was following me.  For some reason she was unable to get in the hot tub.  It was only for certain people?  weirdness and darkness.  no idea.  

   

  I had a dream that the next small town over from me was like backwoods Tennessee.  Decided to go to church there on Sunday.  Driving up the mountain on a dirt path through the houses.  All the people on their porches watching us come.  Met a good country boy.  We couldn't get any good alone time because kids kept walking in on us.  I tried to lock the door over and over.  We went to different rooms.  locked multiple doors.  no go.  (can't imagine what that's a reference to...)

   

  I have recently counted how many churches I have been to in this town and my total stands at 13.  Add the churches in Denton, Jonesboro, Swifton, Little Rock.  You would think I would like one of them.   Take that back.  I kind of like the ones in Denton, Jonesboro, Swifton, and Little Rock. 

   

  Whenever one door closes another opens?  WHY?!  why can't I shut all the doors.  Katrina didn't come back on her own!..  Lance freaking brought her on me!  I'm so glad that you are in the middle of nowhere getting drunk with your friend on your birthday, that is no reason to call someone you haven't talked to in over a year or 3.  Don't call me and act like nothing's wrong with this picture.  Don't call me without taking responsibility for bringing back the nightmares I thought I was rid of.  Kindly remove your wife from my bed at night.  

   

  I'm taking my life experience as another sign that there is something divine controlling our lives.   Explain to me how it's a coincidence over and over and over again that whenever I end a relationship with one person another person comes out of nowhere.   ex. 1. gave ring back....  random phone call from guy 1 week later.   ex. 2.  guy dumps me for wife...  random phone call from different guy.   ex 3.  That guy gets bored... receive message a few weeks later.   ex 4. newness wears off... shiny new car!  ex. 5.  New car is a jacked up mother f*...  old guy texts randomly.   ex. 6.  that same guy got bored or angry, impatient?..  call from example 1 guy whom I haven't seen since ex 1.

  I do not call them.  I do not text them.  The shiny new car was my fault.  ugh.  Why would I want to meet someone new if they turn out like that!?  

  I didn't say it was good divine intervention.  you can stop intervening.  Universe! Get out of my life.  

  • 12:18 am
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