The Shoemaker's Wife by Adriana Trigiani

I have read the Big Stone Gap series by Adriana Trigiani.  I loved her stories and writing, so I figured this one would be a good read, as well.   I was extremely pleased with my decision to pick it up.  I was attracted to the Big Stone Gap series because it takes place in the Smokey Mountains, a place I love.  The Shoemaker's Wife takes place in the Italian Alps, then New York (and New Jersey), then Minnesota.  Those aren't really places I identify with.   It spans the time period of the two World Wars.  I love a good historical fiction.   It is based on actual family members of the author.  You even get rewarded with pictures provided at the end of the book.  

So, why did I love it?

This is a novel about The American Dream.   It's the story of four people who immigrate to America from Italy to make their lives better.  They are able to develop their talents and enter into trades that will provide for their families.  Enza is a seamstress.  She ends up making costumes at the Metropolitan Opera House in New York City.  Another reason for me to love this novel.  If only I could end up making costumes at The Met.   I really wish those days still existed.  The days where people actually were sought after for their individual skills.  If you needed shoes you went to a shoemaker.  If you needed a dress you went to a dressmaker.  You were able to learn skills through apprenticeships.  You were able to take pride in your work.  Now it seems we work for a paycheck and not for a life.  

There's also a love story.   A few of them.  

Leah K.

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.  - Les Miserables

In my last post I described how I called the clinic to get an appointment for Luci.  Well, when they didn't have a "sick child" appointment available, they scheduled her for a check-up today.

My daughter has this complete refusal to speak to people she doesn't know.   No matter how nice they are, she will not speak to you unless you are, Mommy, Grammy, Granddaddy, Daddy, Aunt Colie, or Aunt Laura.  She will not speak to me in front of you unless you are, Aunt Lindsey, Uncle Ben, or Miss Tristin.  Yet, when she is at school, dance or gymnastics she will respond to the teachers after a while.  

     So imagine.   A doctor's office.  The nurse calls "Lucille".  I pick up our belongings, and Luci grabs onto my thigh.  We make our way slowly through the doorway and turn the corner to face the scale and measuring ruler.  The nurse speaks directly to Luci, "if you can step up on the scale we will see how big you are!"  No acknowledgement from my daughter.  She buries her face between my legs.  I then begin to struggle to detach her, and physically place her on the scale.  No way, Jose.  The nurse tries to help, "I bet there are stickers for you when you get done! Won't that be fun?"  Ignoring the nurse she looks to me, "Luci, do you want a sticker?! They have stickers if you do a good job."  She nods her head and whispers yes into my ear, but when I try again to put her on the scale she balks.  "Let's just see how tall she is first", the nurse offers.  I latch on.  This I can do.  I use my feet to press her feet back against the wall and hold her shoulders and head up with my body.  Done.  Now back to the scale. "Mommy why don't you get on holding her, and we will subtract your weight."  "I figured we would get to this."  I let out my breath.  Let's move on.  Hearing and Vision testing.  Oh, Lord, help us now.  

     The nurse, helpful as ever, "Luci, you can come sit on the stool and we will play a game."  Luci is still grasping me around the neck as I try to release her into a chair so that I can put our bag down.  "Can she sit in my lap? I think that's the best way."  The nurse gets started.   "What is this a picture of, Luci."  Nothing.  I ask her myself. "Can you tell mommy what's in that picture, Luci? Whisper it in my ear?"  We got a couple responses in this manner, but the progress proved short lived.  Next come the headphones.  "There is a man in the headphones who is going to say the name of one of these things in the pictures.  When he says it, I want you to point to what he says." As the nurse is explaining this to her, I fear Luci never got past the fact that she had to put headphones on.  "Look! Mommy can put them on! Do you want to try?"  Really, I wasn't surprised when the nurse gave up.  "I'm going to have to go get someone else to try."  You go do that.  While the nurse is out of the room I manage to get Luci to try the headphones.  We have a little one on one talk about why we have to do this.  The door opens, a new nurse comes in.  "Lucille? We are going to look at pictures, Lucille."  The process starts over.  She doesn't utter a word.  I do manage to get the headphones on this time due to our conversation.  The guy starts saying the items into her ear.  She just looks at the nurse and her picture chart.  "What did the man say?"  "I know you heard that, which picture is it?"  "Did he say Sailboat?"  "Well, we aren't going to get anything out of her."  This nurse gives up as well.   She leads us into a nearby exam room.  

    "Now she is going to have some S-H-O-T's today."  I know my face isn't pleasant.  Then she says, "And we will be needing some B-L-O-O-D in the lab.  From right here," as she discretely taps a finger on the inside of her elbow.  Now I know my face is a little nonplussed. "Fine."  I grit my teeth and take the news.  I'll deal with it. "Now get her out of those clothes and I'll send in the Doctor."  She shuts the door behind her.  Luci immediately bursts out, "I don't want to take off my clothes! I don't want to wear that gown!"  I tell her we have to and get to work.  I get her ready then try to distract her with crayons.  The door cracks a bit, the nurse holds a paper in her hand, "This is some info about the shots she will have today."  The door closes.  "I don't want to get shots!"  "Look! A purple crayon, Luci! So Pretty!"  The check up went fine.  She didn't cry when the doctor listened to her heart.  She let her look in her eyes, ears and mouth.  She didn't say a word.  The doctor is done.  She got off easy.  

     The nurse returns.  "Do you want to put her shirt back on? Then lay her down on the edge of the table hang her legs over.  She will get one in each.  Luckily they are combo shots and not 4 separate ones."  There is that, I guess.  Luci starts to whine, "No Mom!"  The nurse exclaims, "Well, Luci, I heard your voice!" I didn't think you had one."  She was about to hear a lot more.  She starts crying as soon as I lay her down.  I have to hold her arms, her shoulders, her hands.  The first shot comes.  Not that I can see or she can see.  Luci screams.  Her eyes pop open, tears immediately coming to the surface.  Her face is crimson.  "I'm sorry, baby. Breathe, honey."  I really don't know what I'm saying, but I know we have to do it again.  There's the scream.  Wow.  She hasn't screamed that loud in a very long time.  "It's over, Luci, it's done. We are going to get dressed now. you are OK."  Who knew pants were so hard to get on.  The nurse is done.  I'm sure she's relieved to have that one over.  Luci protests when I start to get her shoes on.  "I don't want to wear shoes, I can't walk."  I was prepared for that.  I wouldn't want to walk either.  "You still need shoes. I can't carry you, our stuff, and shoes."  And off I go, this piled upon mommy ready to walk into the Lab to sign up her daughter to get blood taken.

     She's still crying, and when she realizes we aren't done she cries harder.  Then she realizes this is going to be painful, and she cries harder.  Our name is called, and we get underway.   Again, she sits in my lap.  "Now, Mom, you are going to have to put her legs in between yours. Lock her in.  And hold her arm here. and her other wrist out straight", the new nurse directs.  Luci actually cries, "Mommy, don't do this thing to me!" I feel that stab in the heart.  The needle makes an appearance.  The screaming starts.  I talk into her ear, "Close your eyes, baby.  It's OK.  I've got you.  It's almost over. You're doing fine.  There, we are so close to being done. You're OK.  It's Done! It's Over."  She continues to cry.  By now I'm crying, too.  "Ok, Mom, just sign this form. Are you both OK?"  "Yes, we're fine, I'm sorry. Thank you."  We leave.  We cry all the way home.  

Leah K.

     I turned into a crazy, in your face, bitchy, crying in the shower, Momma over the past few days.  My baby is sick.  She has been sick for days.  Fever.  Vomiting. Not Eating.  Sniffly.  Eye Watery.  Cough it up.  Sick.   "Let me take your temperature, Luci Honey."  "You need to take some Tylenol, Luci."  "Do you want something to eat?"   "no, Mom!"  "NOOOOOO!"   "No, Momma, no... Momma!!"  

Your child being sick is one of those things that makes you feel the most helpless you have ever felt.  I want to take her medicine for her.  I want to eat and drink for her.  I want to breathe for her and sleep for her.  Instead, I'm stuck pleading with a 4 year old who doesn't understand how to help herself.  "Turn on your side, darlin, so you don't choke and cough."  "I know your tummy hurts, you've got to eat something!"  "Don't take off your socks, you're feet are freezing."  "Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way. I promise."  "Are you sure you don't want to blow your nose?"  (speaking of blowing her nose, I made up a new game. It's called, Every Time You Blow Your Nose, Mommy Will Make an Ass of Herself So You Think That It's Fun!!!)  "But it hurts, Mommy."  "I know, but look at Mommy spin around like a fool!"

Now, I have a couple examples of the crazy Momma.  

1.  Chic Fil A.

     Like I said earlier, Luci has not been eating.  Yesterday, she ate dry cheerios, nutter butters, and applesauce for "lunch" which was all she ate.  I got through at work at 8:30pm.  I called to ask if she wanted anything, anything at all, and I would bring it to her.   She decides on her favorite, Chic Fil A.  I got this.  "Yes, I would like a kids meal 4 piece nuggets with a fruit bowl and chocolate milk.  Also, I need a number 1 with sweet tea and Polynesian sauce. Thank you."  I arrive home.  Open the bag.  What the hell!  Bowl of fruit, check.  Chocolate milk, check.  Straw, check.  Prize, check.  Nuggets.....  Nuggets?  Nuggets!!?  Kill me now.  It probably would not have bothered me on any other day.  But, boy.  I wanted to call them and let them know how much that mistake they don't care about meant to me.  My daughter hasn't eaten a meal in days, and when she finally asks for something, because of you I'm not able to provide it for her.   Shame on you, teenager who doesn't realize you have a responsibility to customers.  

2.  The Government.

     It's probably apparent that Luci is on a Government Healthcare Program.  They so nicely screwed up the process of figuring out this program.  You must call this person before this date for them to tell you you needed to call this other person first, so that person can tell you someone else will have to call them before they can change this information for you.....  huh?  In order to even try to get an appointment I had to call one more time.   "Is this Dr. in Arkansas?"  "YES! The same Doctor my daughter has been going to since she was born 4 1/2 years ago."  "Please hold."  "Oh, why not!"  

3.  The Clinic.

     One Does Not Simply

     Call for an Appointment.    

     I learned long ago.  If you want to take your sick child to the doctor, you have to call at precisely 8 am for them to give you a time to be there only to wait until they feel like calling your name.   You will sit in the waiting room for hours with a kid who has a fever, who just wants to lay down and sleep, who has snot running down their face and your shoulder.   I was prepared for this.   Set my alarm for 7:59.  call at 8:00.  "We are not taking any appointments today due to being short staff."   "so you aren't seeing any sick kids?"  "no."  "ummm, wow."  Next day.  alarm set for 7:59.  call at 8:00.  "Leave patients name, date of birth, and your phone number. We will call to let you know an appointment time."   Goodness!  How inconvenient must you make this?   9:00 call back.  "Yes, you we got the message, we don't have any appointments open."  "I called yesterday as well, you said there would be openings today."  "We thought there would be."  ...................      

So, I went to an express walk-in clinic and paid for the damn exam.  

I had the urge to pull a Denzel Washington and take the clinic hostage so the doctor could see my kid.   

-Sick Mommy

My weekend was spent at the funeral event of my Great Aunt Jackie.  She was the youngest sister of my Granddaddy.  

My boyfriendless friends and I used to joke that when we grew up, we would be Baptist Nuns.  Well, I was related to one.  She was present at every family reunion, many Christmases and Thanksgivings, most Birthdays of all the cousins, and the occasional Sunday Dinner. Also, one week during the summer we would stay with her for Computer Camp.  She didn't drive. She never married.  She lived on campus at Williams Baptist College where she worked.  And yes, I said Computer Camp.  We would play Phase 10, and watch Narnia (the old one on VHS), surrounded by ceramic frogs and bells.  She always sent a card and a present for birthdays and Christmas signed "Love and Prayers" - Aunt Jackie.  

It's so odd being away from family.  Being spread from North Carolina to Ft Worth, TX has really made it's mark on us.  Being back in Northeast Arkansas with almost everyone was amazing.  Something as simple as Church Prepared Food can make you miss how it used to be.   I have been under the impression that no family eats the same things in the same way.  I have spent time with many families, and many pot lucks.  I've never thought, "now this is how it's supposed to be."  Then, as I sat at a church in Walnut Ridge, Arkansas I found it.  5 tables full of people I am actually related to (or close enough), eating food that actually tastes right.   Don't get me started on the wind and the sky.  It makes me think, maybe TX is not where I belong.  Then again.  I can't think of any town in Northeast Arkansas that I would want to Frequent.   Maybe Memphis is close enough?  Should I renew my dream to be in Memphis?  

Leah K.

While driving home from lunch today, Luci asks why Miss Tristin doesn't live with her Mommy (she was visiting her mommy in another town).  I answered, "because she lives with her husband."  Luci of course asks why.  I answer, "she wants to."  Luci questions this as well, "why would she want to?"  "She just does, baby.", I say. 

Then she gets a little aggravated and proclaims, "But, I don't want to get married!".  "Smart girl", I think.  "Me neither, darlin, me neither."

She might be her mother's daughter.

Leah K.

I had a surge in Spring enrollment.   Mostly in my advanced classes.  I couldn't figure out where to put all these dancers.  They are all of different backgrounds.  This one kid is a tap genius.  What am I supposed to do with him?  I doubt he would enjoy even my most advanced tap class.   I had to put him in with my advanced 2 class to evaluate him, so I'm sure he was extremely bored.  We spent most of the time doing jazz.  Most of the other newbies are jazzers.  Some of them don't fit in to any of my classes.  And the boys are a mess!  They didn't think there was enough room in my studio, so they thought it would be a good idea to explore the rest of the building.  The building is not fit for exploration.  I'm going to have to work on my getting teenage boys to behave skills.  

Problems my asleep brain wished I had.  

Leah K.

Marius
There's a grief that can't be spoken
There's a pain goes on and on
Empty chairs at empty tables
Now my friends are dead and gone 

Here they talked of revolution
Here it was they lit the flame
Here they sang about tomorrow
And tomorrow never came. 

From the table in the corner
They could see a world reborn
And they rose with voices ringing
I can hear them now!
The very words that they had sung
Became their last communion
On the lowly barricade..
At dawn. 
Oh my friends, my friends forgive me. 

That I live and you are gone
There's a grief that can't be spoken
There's a pain goes on and on 

Phantom faces at the window
Phantom shadows on the floor
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more. 

Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me
What your sacrifice was for
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will sing no more...

....  I mean.  Just leave me on the floor.  sobbing.  

Leah K.

This is how I have felt since I saw the movie.  Then I finished the book and the feeling multiplied.  I've been crying on and off for days.  

Where has Les Mis been all my life!?  In my favorite books category it goes right under The Once And Future King, before Gone With The Wind and Great Expectations.

I completely love how French it is.  How you take a book about young people getting killed in a civil uprising, and the oppression of the poor and make it completely romantic, is wonderful.  Not just the actual romance contained but the romance of life itself.  The romance of political upheaval.  The romance of living between meals, not knowing where your next piece of bread might come from.  THE RAIN WILL MAKE THE FLOWERS GROW!!!!  (OK that quote is only from the musical, not the book)

My new favorite french word is Chevalier.   I've been here http://www.forvo.com/search/monsieur/  listening to French words all day.  

I don't write in my books very often or fold page corners.  I made an exception.  These are the parts that I couldn't leave in the book.  

"There is one spectacle grander than the sea, that is the sky; there is one spectacle grander than the sky, that is the interior of the soul."   

"One can no more prevent the mind from returning to an idea than the sea from returning to a shore.  . . . God upheaves the soul as well as the ocean."

"The rich young man has a hundred brilliant and coarse amusements . . . , busying the lower portions of the soul at the expense of its higher and delicate portions.  The poor young man . . . goes free to the play that God gives; he beholds the sky, space, stars, the flowers, the children, the humanity in which he suffers, the creation in which he shines. He looks at humanity so much that he sees the soul . . . within him, forgetfulness of self, and pity for all. . . . ,and thought which makes him noble."   

"The power of a glance . . . Few people dare, now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and this way only."

"These passages at arms for progress often fail. The throng is restive under the sway of the paladins. The heavy masses, the multitudes, fragile on account of their very weight, dread uncertainties, and there is uncertainty in the ideal."

Also, the novel deals with that horrible evil, circumstance.  Steal a loaf of bread? Go to prison for half of your life.  Become mayor?  Have your former overseeing officer come into your service.   Find the love of your life, she moves away.   Realize your in love with a guy, get shot and die for him.  Oh, the misery of life! 

Leah K.