January 18, 2013

• Luci Q

       I turned into a crazy, in your face, bitchy, crying in the shower, Momma over the past few days.  My baby is sick.  She has been sick for days.  Fever.  Vomiting. Not Eating.  Sniffly.  Eye Watery.  Cough it up.  Sick.   "Let me take your temperature, Luci Honey."  "You need to take some Tylenol, Luci."  "Do you want something to eat?"   "no, Mom!"  "NOOOOOO!"   "No, Momma, no... Momma!!"  

   

  Your child being sick is one of those things that makes you feel the most helpless you have ever felt.  I want to take her medicine for her.  I want to eat and drink for her.  I want to breathe for her and sleep for her.  Instead, I'm stuck pleading with a 4 year old who doesn't understand how to help herself.  "Turn on your side, darlin, so you don't choke and cough."  "I know your tummy hurts, you've got to eat something!"  "Don't take off your socks, you're feet are freezing."  "Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way. I promise."  "Are you sure you don't want to blow your nose?"  (speaking of blowing her nose, I made up a new game. It's called, Every Time You Blow Your Nose, Mommy Will Make an Ass of Herself So You Think That It's Fun!!!)  "But it hurts, Mommy."  "I know, but look at Mommy spin around like a fool!"
  

   

  Now, I have a couple examples of the crazy Momma.  

  1.  Chic Fil A.

       Like I said earlier, Luci has not been eating.  Yesterday, she ate dry cheerios, nutter butters, and applesauce for "lunch" which was all she ate.  I got through at work at 8:30pm.  I called to ask if she wanted anything, anything at all, and I would bring it to her.   She decides on her favorite, Chic Fil A.  I got this.  "Yes, I would like a kids meal 4 piece nuggets with a fruit bowl and chocolate milk.  Also, I need a number 1 with sweet tea and Polynesian sauce. Thank you."  I arrive home.  Open the bag.  What the hell!  Bowl of fruit, check.  Chocolate milk, check.  Straw, check.  Prize, check.  Nuggets.....  Nuggets?  Nuggets!!?  Kill me now.  It probably would not have bothered me on any other day.  But, boy.  I wanted to call them and let them know how much that mistake they don't care about meant to me.  My daughter hasn't eaten a meal in days, and when she finally asks for something, because of you I'm not able to provide it for her.   Shame on you, teenager who doesn't realize you have a responsibility to customers.  

  2.  The Government.

       It's probably apparent that Luci is on a Government Healthcare Program.  They so nicely screwed up the process of figuring out this program.  You must call this person before this date for them to tell you you needed to call this other person first, so that person can tell you someone else will have to call them before they can change this information for you.....  huh?  In order to even try to get an appointment I had to call one more time.   "Is this Dr. in Arkansas?"  "YES! The same Doctor my daughter has been going to since she was born 4 1/2 years ago."  "Please hold."  "Oh, why not!"  

  3.  The Clinic.

       One Does Not Simply

  

       Call for an Appointment.    

       I learned long ago.  If you want to take your sick child to the doctor, you have to call at precisely 8 am for them to give you a time to be there only to wait until they feel like calling your name.   You will sit in the waiting room for hours with a kid who has a fever, who just wants to lay down and sleep, who has snot running down their face and your shoulder.   I was prepared for this.   Set my alarm for 7:59.  call at 8:00.  "We are not taking any appointments today due to being short staff."   "so you aren't seeing any sick kids?"  "no."  "ummm, wow."  Next day.  alarm set for 7:59.  call at 8:00.  "Leave patients name, date of birth, and your phone number. We will call to let you know an appointment time."   Goodness!  How inconvenient must you make this?   9:00 call back.  "Yes, you we got the message, we don't have any appointments open."  "I called yesterday as well, you said there would be openings today."  "We thought there would be."  ...................      

  So, I went to an express walk-in clinic and paid for the damn exam.  

  I had the urge to pull a Denzel Washington and take the clinic hostage so the doctor could see my kid.   

  

  -Sick Mommy

  • 7:04 pm
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