February 6, 2013

  • Love Parade (Story #3)

    I attended a very small school in Texas.  I moved there right before the 4th grade.  The same 70 people were with me throughout the next 9 years give or take a few implants.  I didn't date much in school.   I was the new girl while I was still cute in 4th grade.  Really shy.  Then about 6th grade my awkward years started.  I was skinny as hell.  I got glasses the next year, and then braces the next.  I didn't grow boobs, but I did get acne.   If you haven't noticed I'm covered in freckles and I have orange-ish hair.   My classmates witnessed all of this.   My friends got boyfriends.  I got ignored.  In about the 10th grade I realized it was time to cut my hair short, and  get contacts.  I got my braces off.  I wore make-up sometimes.  But, I fear the damage was done.  The guys knew me as the unattractive little friend, and I was still too shy to make a different impact.  Sometimes I tried.  I would put on a short skirt, high heels, my contacts, make-up, fix my hair.  Mostly, I got comments from the gay guy.  "Girl, you are hot stuff today!"  Great for a boost of confidence, but useless in the area of getting a date.  

    It is senior year.  I had vowed not to worry about relationships with guys this year.  It was my time to have the best year of my life with my friends.  You can open my yearbook from that year, and know I succeeded.  I had mostly blow-off classes.  I had loaded up on advanced sciences and college courses the past two years, and this year was for fun.  Art, Theater Arts, Interior Design, Apparel (sewing), Office Aid.  My theater teacher hated me.  That meant I got the smallest parts in the plays.  So, most of my time was spent in the little room off the stage with the other Small Part People.  Senior was one of them.  We had known each other since 4th grade.  Had classes together.  He knew my sister, I knew his brothers.  He had piercings and tattoos done by his self or a friend.  One of the nicest guys I knew.  Never failed to actually talk to me, which was rare.  He would ask about my friends' drama and then ask what I thought about it.  Me?  We talked about music.  We talked about his friends and family.  I enjoyed the part of the day we had together.

    I got it in my head to ask him to take me out.  (If I waited to get asked out, I knew it would never happen).  I figured we could drive to the lake after school or something.  I was looking forward to Theater after lunch.  I walked into 2nd period.  To the back of the class where a group of girls waited.  We called ourselves the BLLFM and blew off the boring class putting make-up on and discussing some of the girls sex lives.  F is in a good mood.  She has some news to share.   Senior asked her out!  They are together now!...  Holy Crap!  F is a Junior.  She's got perfect white skin, big boobs, mysterious choppy black hair, and lips like Angelina Jolie.  How the hell am I supposed to compete with that?   

    A little salt in my wounds Senior now sits across the lunch table from me right next to his girlfriend.  After lunch we spend time in the Small Part People room discussing how much he likes his new girlfriend.  And then 2nd periods were used to torment me with details of their sex life.  When he gets her a ring by prom time, I know I never had a chance.  A year after graduation, M (from BLLFM) and I get an apartment together.  Senior finds his way into my living room, with F on his arm.  Still asking me how my life is.  Asking me about M's drama.  I come away from the night with F's earrings being left on my kitchen counter as a reminder for me.   Facebook is also nice enough to keep me updated.  Years pass. I started to notice contradictory status updates.  F has a new man.  Lots of years pass.  I'm at The Nutcracker.  I spot Senior across the audience.  I get up to say, hello.  He says, "I figured you would be here. I'm here for my girlfriend. She's a dancer."  It's nice to know he keeps up with me, sort of.  Teenage crushes are a bitch.   He's a pharmacist/cook in Houston now.  Still comments on my facebook to ask me how I am.  

    Leah K.