March 21, 2013

  • Time

    Every moment is packed full of crap!  It's been this way for weeks.  I've been fantasizing about just sitting down with my eyes closed.  Just breathing.  I can see myself in my head.  I look so peaceful, but all I feel is this tightness.  I'm wound so tightly.  I'm frantic.  Costumes, Fundraiser, Recital, Luci, Friends, Other Fundraiser, Money, No Money, MS Walk, Dances.   There is no me.  No breath.  Not even any sleep.  I can't even settle enough to sleep.

     Here I am for 5 minutes trying to get this out, and all I can think is, "Can-can costume... watch the movie... deposit money.. go pay the cake... no you can't have cotton candy, Luci... it's going to rain out the fundraiser...  I've got to finish the pants!.. the tutus..  Oh the kimonos!!..  Finally someone to video.  ugh trophies.  Where is my money!?.. rent its due soon... I left my keys in the studio."    !!!!!!!!!!!  

    It's only March.   I thought this was supposed to be an easy month.  Spring Break was completely lost on me I worked every day.  People have begun to notice my exhaustion.  I'm just tired.  my mind is tired. 

    Leah K.

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