March 22, 2013

• Always A Bridesmaid

  Usually that phrase ends in "never a bride".  While that is true for me, I'm actually going to finish it with "never a maid of honor".   

  The first wedding I was in was my mother's.  I was 8.  My sisters and I were Bridesmaids.  We stood up there beside my Mom and each held one red rose.  

     So I understand why I wasn't the maid of honor in this one.  All the daughters must be on an even plane.  What this did start was a string of being in weddings.  

  The next one was a cousin's wedding in which I read a poem about love before the vows.   Then I believe I stood at the nuts and mints table throughout the reception.  

  Then, I believe Nicole was next.   She was 18.  I was 17. 
   She had a cousin who she chose as her Maid of Honor.  I remember the words she spoke to me.  "I would rather have you, but she is family and I can't choose the people I want."  So I was the would be Maid of Honor, and I took it to heart.  I went to the tux fittings and flower choosing meetings.  I planned the shower and the bachelorette party.   I promised her I would dive after her bouquet and I had the road rash to prove it along with the memory of my victory dance with her brother to, "I'll be" in the lit up gazebo to remind me how single I was at the time.  

  The next year my sister got married.  Her wedding was in The Bahamas.  So there were no bridesmaids.  When they got back to the states we threw a reception.  Laura and I, The sisters, were the "honorary bridesmaids".
    Which meant, we wore coordinating colors and served cake.  

  It was time for another cousins wedding.  Another color coordinated dress.  Another cake table.  No title.  
  

  Jeri got married next.   I'm not sure their are pictures of me at this one.  I was an "honorary bridesmaid" again.  I walked down the isle in my specified dress.  But I didn't get to stand up next to her.  Then of course I volunteer to stand behind the punch table the rest of the night, and miss out on all the pictures.  But I love Jeri, and I would stand behind the punch table again.  

  Time for Tristin's wedding?
    That is me.  3rd from the left.  I made those bouquets we are all holding.  Helped pick out the dresses we are wearing.  Took photos of the bride.  Made the favors.  Bought awesome champagne for the bachelorette party.  Again.  Just a bridesmaid.  Another situation that "Maid of Honor" was chosen not to ruffle feathers.  

  Then, of course the dj at this wedding...
  

  Because, you see.  I understand.  I know these women love me.  All of these women know, I will stick by them.  Even if I'm not their "maid of honor" in their wedding.  I am a "Maid of Honor" in their lives and that counts for more.   

  Someone mentioned the movie Bridesmaids in passing the other day, and I thought they were referring to me.  Woops.  

  And girls,  none of you will probably end up being my "matron of honor".   I always planned on having no guests at my wedding.   No single girl behind the cake/punch/nuts/mints/music table.  Also, no "Father" trying to walk me down the isle or give me away.  So, just know you are my honorary matrons.  And you better like the damn razorback cake.  

  If the occasion ever arises. 

  Leah K.

  • 9:25 pm
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