May 23, 2013

  • Day 12

    The person you hate most/caused you the most pain

     

    Person I hate

    You're face looks like crap. You don't work hard enough.  You can't succeed at your job.  You are too selfish.  You need to be a better mother.  You suck at making money.  You need to clean your fucking car.  You need to get your shit together.  All you do is make the same mistakes over again.  Get your ass in gear.  You can't do this.  You can't be happy.  This is a bad idea.  You're late again.  Can you even be on time one day?   You have no idea what the hell you are doing.  It's your fault your life is a mess.  It's your fault you don't have any money.  It's your fault you don't have many friends.  These people think you are stupid.  These people think you are too young.  These people are judging you for not being married.  I can't believe you came here looking like this.  You need to put some make-up on.  You're worthless.  Who would want to talk to you?  Who would want to be with you?  What could you possibly have to offer?  You're a failure. You will fail again.  It's just a matter of time before you screw this up.  Your customers hate you.  You need to do a better job.  You're going to lose all your students.  Your daughter is going to hate you.  You aren't capable of loving someone.  Gain some weight.  Eat something!  Stretch more.  You aren't good enough.  Do it over.  That was crap.  Do it again.  You suck.  You are weak.  You need to work out harder.   You need to be sterner with the girls.  They won't listen to you.  You are lazy.  What is wrong with you?  I hate you.  

    Sincerely,

    Voice in your head

     

    Person who caused me the most pain

    I know all of this!  Please stop.  I'm trying.  I'm a good person.  I can do this.  I have a lot to offer.  I can handle this.  My face is fine.  I weigh enough.  I will succeed.  I don't give a shit that I'm late.  Those people can suck my dick.  I can't seem to stop you from talking, but I am trying to counter you.  You can hurt me more than anyone else, but I can control how much it affects me.  I can choose to ignore you.  I can become even more determined to prove you wrong.  You may never go away.  I probably wouldn't let you.  But, I have the power.

    Leah K.

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