The teaching staff at Miss Leah's School of Dance in 2013

Miss Leah, Miss Katherine, Miss Brittany, and Miss Jennifer

  
This was an intense moment for me during recital.   I was ready to strangle my light and sound crew.  Their job was to push play when we hit this pose so we could walk off to music.  They completely missed it during Dress Rehearsal.  Thankfully this was not one of the mistakes they made during the actual show.  All the mistakes happened while I was behind the curtains and most of the audience didn't see my horrible reactions.   

  The Curtain Call

Just be prepared.  These are just some of the digital stills from my videographer.   I also had a previous student taking photos during Dress Rehearsal.....  she informs me she has 400 pictures to upload....     You have been warned.   AND!  If Trishy will ever upload her videos.....  I want to see them!  And of course you do, right?!

Miss Leah

    I made these costumes.  :)
  A lyrical to Miles by Christina Perri
  me
  my tap solo to I Love Paris
  my tap shoe came untied halfway through the number, but I was still fabulous.
 5 white girls dancing a hip hop to Run The World (Girls) by Beyonce

  Don Quixote Ballet

 Beautiful end pose my senoritas

Just a peak

Miss Leah

The person you hate most/caused you the most pain

Person I hate

You're face looks like crap. You don't work hard enough.  You can't succeed at your job.  You are too selfish.  You need to be a better mother.  You suck at making money.  You need to clean your fucking car.  You need to get your shit together.  All you do is make the same mistakes over again.  Get your ass in gear.  You can't do this.  You can't be happy.  This is a bad idea.  You're late again.  Can you even be on time one day?   You have no idea what the hell you are doing.  It's your fault your life is a mess.  It's your fault you don't have any money.  It's your fault you don't have many friends.  These people think you are stupid.  These people think you are too young.  These people are judging you for not being married.  I can't believe you came here looking like this.  You need to put some make-up on.  You're worthless.  Who would want to talk to you?  Who would want to be with you?  What could you possibly have to offer?  You're a failure. You will fail again.  It's just a matter of time before you screw this up.  Your customers hate you.  You need to do a better job.  You're going to lose all your students.  Your daughter is going to hate you.  You aren't capable of loving someone.  Gain some weight.  Eat something!  Stretch more.  You aren't good enough.  Do it over.  That was crap.  Do it again.  You suck.  You are weak.  You need to work out harder.   You need to be sterner with the girls.  They won't listen to you.  You are lazy.  What is wrong with you?  I hate you.  

Sincerely,

Voice in your head

Person who caused me the most pain

I know all of this!  Please stop.  I'm trying.  I'm a good person.  I can do this.  I have a lot to offer.  I can handle this.  My face is fine.  I weigh enough.  I will succeed.  I don't give a shit that I'm late.  Those people can suck my dick.  I can't seem to stop you from talking, but I am trying to counter you.  You can hurt me more than anyone else, but I can control how much it affects me.  I can choose to ignore you.  I can become even more determined to prove you wrong.  You may never go away.  I probably wouldn't let you.  But, I have the power.

Leah K.

A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Meemaw and Granddaddy,

I just want to plan Luci's 5th Birthday at The Farm with you guys.  I want to go to church with you and sit next to you in the pew. Meemaw, I want to hear you sing. Granddaddy, I want to hear you pray.  I want you to hear Luci's funny stories.  I want us to pick icing colors for the cake together.  I want to walk through the yard and talk about which flowers are blooming.  I want to talk about which tractors need fixing.  I want to talk about how many geese came through this year, and how many kittens you've counted so far.   I want to talk about the new highway, and all the traffic coming through.  I want to know who the new neighbors are, and who is having babies at church.  But non of those things are possible.  Mostly I just want to tell you both how much you are missed.  I miss you terribly.  You were so important in my life.  You were the biggest influence.  It's hard to think of life without you.  That's why I always keep you with me.  You are in my thoughts. You are in my dreams.  You are in my heart.  Thank you for all the love.  Thank you for a home.   A home in my memories that I can go to and feel blessed.  A past that I can cherish.  I cherish you, and the memories I have of you.  

Leah

Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to

I'm posting three of these a day because I am bored out of my mind with recital being over.  So....  Another one.

Nicole,

You are like a sister to me.  We know everything about each other.  I love you so much.  I wish we got to sit down and talk more.  We have been so busy lately.  You with school.  Me with dance.  When we are together, we usually aren't alone.  Luci is there.  Carlo and Buddy are there.  You have witnessed me be quite destructive to myself over the past few years.  I know you are probably worried about me.  I would love to really talk it through.  And I know you have stuff on your mind, too.  We always talk about your family, and Buddy's work.  I know you don't really like to explore some of the deep stuff.  You have a lot of pain in there.   We don't have to know all the details of each others' lives to still be close, but it's always nice to share those, too.  And, really, even if we don't have real talk,  I would like to hang out more often.  I miss you!  And I saw you yesterday.  Talked to you today.  You're leaving for vacation tomorrow.   I Miss You!!  What will happen when you work nights?  

Leah

Someone you wish you could meet

“Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living. You said I killed you--haunt me then. The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe--I know that ghosts have wandered the earth. Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad. Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! It is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!” 
― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

I want to meet Heathcliff.  Post Catherine, Heathcliff.  The Man who begged to be haunted by his love, and was granted his wish.  I want to be that house guest who witnesses the reunion of the ghost Cathy with her Heathcliff.  I want to see the frantic, tortured, all consuming love, for myself.  I always viewed him as this larger than life, man that even though he was broken was still commanding.  Like I would love him at the first encounter even though his love was gone from him.  "He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

Leah K.

My Favorite Internet friend

@FalconBridge 

Now, before everyone starts to get offended that it's not you, there are specific reasons.   One is that she is strictly an internet friend.  Those of you whom I know outside of the internet, therefore, do not count.  Also, She is my internet friend on more than one network.  So those of you who only know me on xanga do not count either.  

I'm so glad we happened upon each other!  I think it was our fondness for answering the featured questions that brought us together.  Where did those go, anyway?  I feel like you genuinely care about what I write, and who I am, and how you can give me advice.  The fact that you take the time to read all the things I put on here makes me feel awesome.   I worry you don't know that I appreciate your comments.  I really do!  I love to see what you have to say.  You are positive and uplifting.  I hope I am the same to you!   Thank you for being you!

LeahKtutu

A stranger,

I notice you.  I'm aware of you.  I will probably not meet your eyes.  I might not even turn my head in your direction.  I'm sorry, if you think I'm cold.  I'm sorry, if you think I'm unkind.  I'm just unable to open myself.  By the way, this is my daughter.  She is overly aware of you.  I can tell by the amount of her body that is touching mine.  The closer you get, the further into me she burrows.  Please don't approach her.   Don't try to engage her.  If you have a question or concern you can talk to me and she might loosen just a little.  Let her come to you.  Or, let her be.  I'm not sorry for whatever you might think about that.  I'm sorry if you think you have a right to her space.  You do not.  

Unsocial Mommy

Your Dreams

What can I say?   I see you! I hear you! Loud and clear.  You know what I fear.  You know what I wish for.  If only my waking thoughts could be so imaginative and detailed and to the point.  I crave to be so thought provoking.  I long to induce the feelings through my work that you can induce in moments.  I love and hate you.  Even when you hurt me to the core, I don't want you to leave.  I want you to show me.  Show me, I am a real person with strong feelings.  I can love in my dreams.  I can feel grief in my dreams.  I can dive into my fears and examine them.   I would love to live my life the way I live my dreams.  

Leah K. 

Sibling(s)

Laura,  

I want you to be happy!  We are so alike.  You work yourself to death.  You put everything you have into what you do.  You put so much stress on yourself.  Stress that makes you tired and makes you sick.  I know you wouldn't be happy unless you were putting all of yourself into everything you do, but I just wish your body and mind were not so taxed.  I want to see you more!  It bothers me that you are so far away.  I really think if we lived close we could be the best of friends.  You have so much to do with who I am.  I looked up to you throughout the years.  You have been able to help me understand things.  You have enlightened me in a lot of ways.  You have shown me it's OK not to be perfect.  It's also not OK to be stupid for too long.  I want you to love yourself, and I want you to be happy.  I love you.  I think you are one of the greatest people I will ever know.  

Lindsey,

I worry about you.  I know you probably are just fine.  If I were in your shoes I would be miserable.  I would not have made the same choices as you.  I would be lonely and tired.  I hope these things are not true.  I know you are not like me.  You have always been different.  And, where I can't understand your choices and your feelings, I do hope the best for you.  I hope you have done what is right for you.  I hope you will consider yourself sometimes.  I'm having a hard time with you.  I love you, and I miss you.  I want to see you.  But, you are so different.  I don't like your most recent life choice.  I will never tell you not to do it.  I have always supported you when maybe Mom and Laura haven't.  This is the first time I don't support you.  I will let you go.  I will still be your sister.  I will love you.  I just can't understand you in this.   I hope I have been a good sister in our grown up years.  I feel like I have time to make up for.  I will always cherish our good times.  Mostly revolving around music.  I will always owe you for my music exposure.  

Bill,

Our relationship might be odd.  We might not speak to each other on a normal basis, but you are one of my favorite people.  I love you and I am proud of you.  We give love in much the same way.  We are so similar.  I wish the girls could be closer.  I hope you make an awesome life for yourself.  I know we are in the same kind of place.  We always have been.  Our lives parallel in ridiculous ways.  We will both make it, brother!  

Marcos and John Michael,

I don't really have high hopes that we will ever be close.  I don't think bad of you.  I know you guys really have nothing to do with us not being close.  I wish you happiness in your lives.  And John Michael, maybe you can learn from mine and Bill's mistakes.  Good luck.

Your sister