Someone from your childhood

My childhood was all about the cousins.   

I'm smack dab in the middle there with my blue sweatshirt.  The time stamp says 1998.  

It seems I really like my family.   These people are all awesome.  

Leah K.

Did I post this already?

I wanna dance by water 'neath the Mexican sky
Drink some Margaritas by a string of blue lights
Listen to the Mariachi play at midnight
Are you with me, are you with me?

I wanna fall like the Carolina rain on your skin
I wanna walk a little too far out on that limb
Take you every place I've been and never been
Are you with me, are you with me?

We can chase the wild dreams, live like crazy
Love me baby, come on, come on, come on
Just throw your arms around me
We can run like we won't run out of time

I wanna fly so high that I'll never come down
I wanna love so hard, it could rip my heart out
I wanna get so lost that I'll never be found
Are you with me? Are you with me?

We can chase the wild dreams, live like crazy
Love me baby, come on, come on, come on
Just throw your arms around me
We can run like we won't run out of time

Are you with me?

We can chase the wild dreams, live like crazy
Love me baby, come on, come on, come on
Just throw your arms around me
We can run like we won't run out of time

Are you with me?
Are you with me?
Are you with me?

Come on, come on, come on
Just come with me

Leah K.

Someone that's not in your state/country

That's easy

FS,

"Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes! Love, Alfalfa."   

This is what comes to my mind

Where is this movie?   I need to see it again.  One of my favorites.  Along with Sandlot.  

It's really not that bad.   We just never got on the same page.  He will always live in another state or country.  Why put so much into something that can never be?   I think I might have hurt him again.  But it can't have been too much.   There wasn't a whole lot there to lose.  I probably need to talk to him.  Clear things up.  I thought I would do it before I wrote this, but I didn't.   Maybe, tonight.  

Leah K.

Miss Leah

The person you miss the most.

Miss Dixie,

There will never be a day that I won't wish you were here.  I hear your words in my head.  I see you in the things I'm trying to accomplish.  It's been 2 years and I still turn into a wreck when I think of you.  It only takes the mention of who you were to bring the sting of tears to my eyes.  Your name is so often on all of our lips.  You will forever be a force in everyone's life.  In my life.  I miss your good heart.  I miss your sweet and loving smile.  It's amazing how we never doubted your love for us.  I hope to be like you in as many ways as possible.   I love you.  I wish you were here.  I will miss you always.

Dancingly Yours,

Miss Leah

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

Yes, it was adapted into a movie.  I saw the movie before I read the book.  I liked the movie.  The book was nothing like the movie.  Plot lines, yes.  Characters, no.  

The first 3/4th's of the book I was completely enthralled.  The book was so real.  The awkwardness of the situations were apparent and obvious.  The moral dilemmas and immoral thoughts are completely present, and it's refreshing.  

Hearing from both point of views was great.  Henry is a downright shitty person at times.  Extremely human and flawed.  Like we all can be.  He is self destructive and pessimistic.  This would never be revealed from Clare's point of view.  It also adds to her character in the fact that she loves this really flawed man.  

There were pages of dreams.  Oh the torture.  You know me and my dreams.  My recurring dead baby dreams.  There were three full pages of dead baby dreams.  

My own philosophies were echoed in the book.  The inevitability of fate.  Everything that happens has already happened. Can't be changed.  It's all happening at the same time and it all affects everything at once.  Mistakes you don't know you are going to make in the future are affecting your past and your present.  

In other words, this was a good book for me.  It meshed.  I understood it.  

The last 1/4th of the book felt long and drawn out and slow moving.  Then it ended abruptly and I thought there was so much untold.  

Which is why it only got 4 out of 5 stars.

An Entry inside an Entry.

Everyone always says you can't change the past.  The past is unchangeable.  That's completely untrue.  My past changes daily.  My memories are molded by the present.  The meaning changes.  The outcome lengthens and stretches. The ripples double back on each other.  They say hindsight is 20/20.  I really just think we are majorly far-sighted.  The further away the more we can see.  The more details that weren't even thought of.  The past isn't always far away.  It's just as blurry when it's up close.  The lines get fuzzy and our mind molds it differently than it was originally.  My past only exists as it is in my present.  The rest is gone.  

Leah K.

Someone you've drifted away from

I'm good at drifting

Beth

Valerie

Kelli

Jeri

Kristi

Chase

Andrew

Sam

Keldric

Morgan

Lindsay

Ben

Colt

Celeste

Whitney

Lauren

Nikki

Alex

Blessing

Beth

Jason

Colton

Stephen

Steve

Meghan

Jenna

Lindsey

Laura

At some point in my life I have been really close to each one of these people.  I've lost them all along the way.  Some are not completely lost of course, but just a little out of reach.  We would have to do some paddling.  I miss you all in your own ways.

Leah K.

Miss Leah

Another dance photo entry

   Don Quixote Ballet

          La Paloma, Spanish Dance
 
    
These are the costumes I made again....  haha.   I even made the green and gold tutus
    
My Hula Babies!!  Including Luci!!  My sweet girl.
   My simply beautiful fellow teacher
 
     
My solo again..  then me doing hip hop.   Another no make-up Dress Rehearsal for Miss Leah.
    
I made these last few costumes, too.  The bustles and the kimono.   
 <-----  This is a very nice candid photo of the music mistake at Dress Rehearsal.  I think I was yelling at the light booth as this was snapped.  "You have to push play, idiots!"

My dancers are amazing.

Miss Leah

Someone you wish could forgive you

      "Dear God, Thank you for always being there when I am hurt, and helping me see how I can make sure others don't feel the same. 
           Help me to always have hope and see the best of what people can be. 
Help me to know that no matter how many times I may be hurt, I can always be healed by you. 
God, please help me to forgive myself if ever I fail at keeping others from the hurt I have felt. 
I love you, God.  Make my words and promises always be meaningful. 
good night, God.  Amen"   

- Friday February 3rd 2006 xanga entry

http://leahktutu.xanga.com/436896170/5-minutes/

"God, Please help me to forgive myself if ever I fail at keeping others from the hurt I have felt."

Big words, Leah.   How could you not fail at this.  People are hurt so deep and so often, even on your watch.  I've realized this over the past 7 years, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel responsible.  When people I love are hurting I feel like I should have been able to prevent it/fix it/take it away.  I feel it is my failing that they are hurting.  One specific instance is the one I will probably never forgive myself for.  I have inflicted my history on my daughter.   The choices I made, the person I am is the reason for her having to go through feelings of abandonment and pain.  I chose who her Daddy was.  I chose to leave him.   It's my fault he is not in her life like he is "supposed" to be.  I will never forgive myself.   I'm glad I found this prayer.  I have been having a hard time praying the past 5 years.  I think praying for help to forgive myself might be better than my avoidance of forgiveness altogether.   I will not pray for God to forgive me.  Because of course He always forgives, and I can't handle it.  

Leah K.